Settling an Estate — What to Do When a Parent Passes

I’m sorry you’re here. I mean that. Whatever brought you to this page — whether it happened yesterday or last month — I’m sorry for your loss, and I know that “figuring out the estate” is probably the last thing you want to think about right now.

But you’re here because you need to know what comes next. And that’s okay. Taking care of the practical things doesn’t mean you’re not grieving. It means you’re doing what your parent would have wanted — making sure their family is taken care of, even now.

This page is a guide for the weeks and months ahead. Nothing here is urgent enough to deal with today — take the time you need. But when you’re ready, here’s what to expect and what to do.

The First 30 Days: What Actually Needs to Happen

There are very few things that truly can’t wait. Everything else can be dealt with in the coming weeks and months. Here’s what matters now:

Locate the estate planning documents

Before anything else, find out what your parent had in place. You’re looking for:

• A living trust — if one exists, it changes everything (in a good way)
• A will — names an executor and outlines how assets should be distributed
• A financial power of attorney — this document ended when your parent passed, but it tells you who was managing things
• Life insurance policies — these pay out directly to named beneficiaries and are often the first source of funds
• Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts (401(k), IRA, pension)

Check the obvious places first: a filing cabinet, a safe deposit box, the attorney who prepared the documents. If you can’t find anything, contact your parent’s bank — sometimes they have records of trust accounts. If you know your parent worked with a specific attorney, call that office.

If there’s a living trust

This is the best-case scenario, and it’s the one your parent planned for if they set up a trust. A living trust means no probate — the successor trustee (probably you or a sibling) steps in and manages the trust according to its terms. You can distribute assets, pay bills, and handle financial matters without any court involvement.

Here’s what the successor trustee needs to do:

1. Read the trust document carefully — it spells out who gets what and when
2. Notify beneficiaries that the trust is now active (some states require formal notice within a specific timeframe)
3. Obtain several certified copies of the death certificate (you’ll need them for banks, insurance, and government agencies — 10-12 copies is a safe number)
4. Create an inventory of trust assets
5. Pay any outstanding debts and final expenses from the trust
6. Distribute assets according to the trust terms

This process typically takes a few months — not the year-plus that probate takes. For a detailed walkthrough of every step: Trust Administration After Death — What the Successor Trustee Actually Does.

Even with a trust, you may want to hire an attorney to help with the administration, especially if the estate is large, if there are tax considerations, or if there’s any ambiguity in the trust terms. This isn’t required — many successor trustees handle straightforward trusts on their own — but the peace of mind can be worth it.

If there’s a will but no trust

A will needs to go through probate — the court process that validates the will and oversees the distribution of assets. The person named as executor in the will is responsible for filing the will with the probate court, usually in the county where your parent lived.

Probate timelines and costs vary dramatically by state. In some states, a straightforward estate can clear probate in 3-6 months. In others, it can take a year or more. Costs typically run 2-7% of the estate’s value, depending on the state and the complexity.

Here’s the general process:

1. File the will with the local probate court
2. The court appoints the executor (or “personal representative”)
3. Notify creditors and beneficiaries
4. Inventory and appraise the estate assets
5. Pay debts, taxes, and final expenses
6. Distribute remaining assets to beneficiaries per the will
7. File a final accounting with the court

You’ll almost certainly want an attorney for probate. It’s a legal process with specific filing deadlines, notice requirements, and court procedures. For a complete picture of what probate involves: The Probate Process Explained.

If there’s nothing — no trust, no will

If your parent died without any estate plan, the estate goes through probate under your state’s intestacy laws — the default rules that determine who inherits when there’s no will. A court will appoint an administrator (usually the surviving spouse or an adult child) to manage the estate.

Intestacy can be especially complicated for blended families, unmarried partners, or families with strained relationships. The court’s formula may not match what your parent would have wanted. An attorney is essential in this situation. For more on what intestacy means: When Parents Don’t Plan.

Financial Tasks to Handle Early

These don’t all need to happen in the first week, but don’t let them slide for months either:

• File life insurance claims. Life insurance pays out to named beneficiaries, not through the estate. Contact the insurance company with a certified death certificate. Payouts typically arrive within 2-4 weeks.
• Notify Social Security. The funeral home usually handles this, but confirm. If your surviving parent was receiving spousal benefits, those may change.
• Notify your parent’s bank and financial institutions. They’ll need a death certificate and documentation of who has authority over the accounts (successor trustee letter, executor appointment from the court, etc.).
• Continue paying essential bills. Mortgage, property taxes, insurance, and utilities on the home need to keep being paid until the estate is settled. If no one has immediate access to your parent’s accounts, these may need to come from family funds temporarily.
• Don’t rush to sell or distribute anything. It’s tempting to want to “get it over with,” but moving too fast can create tax problems or legal complications. The trust or the probate court will dictate the timeline for distributions.

Tax Obligations

There are a few tax-related items to be aware of:

• Final income tax return. Your parent’s final federal and state income tax returns need to be filed for the year they passed. This is due on the normal April 15 deadline.
• Estate income tax return. If the estate earns income after the date of death (interest, dividends, rent), it may need its own tax return (IRS Form 1041).
• Federal estate tax return. Only required if the total estate exceeds the federal exemption ($13.99 million per person in 2024). Most families don’t owe federal estate tax — but if your parent lived in one of the 12 states (or DC) with their own estate tax, the threshold may be much lower.
• Inheritance tax. Six states (Iowa, Kentucky, Maryland, Nebraska, New Jersey, Pennsylvania) have inheritance taxes — which are paid by the person inheriting, not the estate. Rates vary by your relationship to the deceased.

A CPA or tax attorney who specializes in estates can handle all of this. If the estate is straightforward and under the federal exemption, the tax work is usually manageable.

Taking Care of Yourself

I want to say something that most estate planning guides skip: this is hard. Not just the paperwork and the legal process — the whole thing. Grieving a parent while simultaneously dealing with their finances, their house, their belongings, and maybe their debts is one of the hardest things a person can go through.

You don’t have to do it alone. Lean on family. Lean on the professionals — attorneys and CPAs exist specifically to carry the legal and financial burden so you can focus on the human side. And give yourself grace. There’s no timeline for grief, and the estate administration will wait for you when you need a day to just be sad.

Your parent would not want this process to break you. They’d want you to take care of yourself first and handle the details when you’re ready.

I’m not an attorney, and nothing on this site is legal advice. If you’ve recently lost a parent, I strongly encourage you to consult with an estate planning or probate attorney in their state. The information here is based on general principles and my own family’s experience — your situation will have its own specifics that deserve professional guidance.