We Need a Plan Now — What to Do When Time Is Short

Something happened, and now you’re here. Maybe it was a diagnosis. Maybe it was a fall, a hospital stay, a conversation with a doctor that changed everything. Maybe it was just a moment of clarity — a sudden, gut-level understanding that you can’t put this off anymore.

Whatever brought you here, I want you to know two things: you’re not too late, and there’s a clear path forward.

I know this feeling. When my dad ended up in the hospital — four days, a cardiac scare, everything suddenly very real — I sat in that waiting room and realized I didn’t know if my parents had a will, where their accounts were, or what they’d want if the worst happened. The urgency was suffocating. But the urgency also did something useful: it cut through all the reasons we’d been putting this off and made the next steps crystal clear.

That’s what this page is for. Not a general overview of estate planning — you don’t have time for that right now. This is a prioritized action plan: what to do this week, what can wait until next month, and what matters most when time is short.

This Week: The Three Things That Can’t Wait

If your parent is facing a health crisis — or if a health event has made it clear that planning can’t be delayed — these are the actions that matter most right now. Everything else can come later.

1. Healthcare power of attorney and advance directive

This is the single most urgent document. A healthcare power of attorney (sometimes called a healthcare proxy or medical power of attorney) names someone — probably you — to make medical decisions if your parent can’t make them for themselves. An advance directive (sometimes called a living will) spells out what kind of medical treatment they do and don’t want.

Without these documents, medical decisions can be paralyzed. If your parent becomes incapacitated and hasn’t named someone to make healthcare decisions, the family may need to go to court for a guardianship — a process that takes weeks or months, costs thousands of dollars, and happens at the worst possible time.

What to do right now:

• Ask your parent if they already have a healthcare power of attorney and advance directive. If yes, find the documents.
• If they don’t have these documents, this is the first thing an estate planning attorney will address. Many can prepare these within days for urgent situations.
• If your parent is still mentally competent (can understand and communicate their wishes), these documents can still be created. If they’ve already lost capacity, you may need to pursue a court-appointed guardianship — and you’ll want an attorney for that immediately.

Every state uses different terminology and has different requirements for these documents. What’s called a “living will” in one state may be an “advance directive” in another. An attorney in your parent’s state will know exactly which forms to use.

2. Financial power of attorney

A durable financial power of attorney names someone to manage your parent’s finances if they can’t — paying bills, managing accounts, handling insurance, dealing with the mortgage. The word “durable” is critical: it means the authority survives even if your parent becomes incapacitated.

Without this document, no one in the family can access your parent’s bank accounts, pay their bills, or manage their financial affairs — even if the situation is obviously urgent. The bank will say no. The insurance company will say no. Everyone will say no until a court says yes, and getting that court order takes time and money your family doesn’t have right now.

What to do right now:

• Find out if a durable financial power of attorney already exists.
• If it does, locate the original signed document. Banks and financial institutions often require the original, not a copy.
• If it doesn’t exist, this is the second document an attorney will prioritize in an urgent situation.

3. Find out what exists

Before you can plan, you need to know what’s already in place. Sit down with your parent (if possible) or with the family member who would know, and find out:

• Is there a will? Where is it? When was it last updated?
• Is there a living trust? Has it been funded (are assets actually titled in the trust’s name)?
• Who is named as executor, trustee, or power of attorney?
• Where are the important documents kept? (Safe deposit box, filing cabinet, attorney’s office?)
• What are the major assets? (House, bank accounts, retirement accounts, life insurance, investments)
• Are there beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance policies?

This isn’t a complete inventory — that comes later. This is triage. You need to know what you’re working with so the attorney can prioritize.

This Month: Build the Core Estate Plan

Once the immediate crisis is stabilized and you’ve handled the urgent documents, the next step is getting a complete estate plan in place. For most families, that means:

Find an estate planning attorney — now, not later

This is not the time for a general practice lawyer. You need someone who specializes in estate planning and understands your parent’s state laws. Most estate planning attorneys can accommodate urgent situations and will prioritize families dealing with a health crisis.

When you call, be direct: “My parent has had a health event, and we need to get an estate plan in place quickly. Can you do an expedited consultation?” Attorneys hear this regularly. They will understand.

Many offer free or reduced-cost initial consultations. Use the first meeting to explain the situation, understand the options, and get a timeline. Every state has different rules, costs, and requirements — find your parent’s state guide on this site for the specifics before that first meeting.

The documents you need (all of them)

A complete estate plan isn’t just a trust or a will — it’s a package of documents that work together. Here’s what the attorney will likely recommend:

1. Living trust — Holds your parent’s assets so they pass directly to beneficiaries without probate
2. Pour-over will — Catches any assets that weren’t transferred into the trust (more on how this works)
3. Durable financial power of attorney — Already discussed above
4. Healthcare power of attorney — Already discussed above
5. Advance directive / living will — Medical treatment preferences

Most attorneys can prepare this full package in 1-3 weeks. In urgent cases, some can expedite to days. The healthcare and financial powers of attorney should be signed first — they protect the family right now. The trust and will can follow shortly after.

For a detailed look at each of these documents and why they matter: The 5 Documents Every Family Needs.

Fund the trust

Creating a trust is only half the job. Your parent’s assets need to be retitled in the name of the trust — bank accounts, the house, investment accounts. Until that happens, the trust is an empty container and those assets still go through probate.

The attorney should help with this, or at least provide clear instructions. Real estate requires a new deed. Bank accounts require paperwork at the bank. Some assets (like retirement accounts) typically name the trust as a beneficiary rather than being retitled. Our complete guide to funding a trust walks through every asset type.

This Quarter: The Things That Can Wait (But Shouldn’t Wait Long)

With the core documents in place and the trust funded, the immediate crisis is handled. But there are a few more things to address in the coming weeks:

Review beneficiary designations

Life insurance policies, retirement accounts (401(k), IRA), and some bank accounts have beneficiary designations that pass assets directly — outside the will or trust. These designations override whatever the will or trust says. If your dad’s 401(k) still names his ex-wife as the beneficiary, she gets it — regardless of what the trust document says. Review and update every beneficiary designation to make sure they match the estate plan.

Understand the tax situation

Most families won’t owe federal estate tax (the exemption is over $13 million per person in 2024-2025). But 12 states and DC have their own estate taxes with much lower thresholds, and 6 states have inheritance taxes. Our estate tax guide explains who actually owes what — and more importantly, who doesn’t.

Address long-term care

If your parent’s health event has raised the possibility of ongoing care — nursing home, assisted living, in-home care — that’s a whole additional layer of planning. Long-term care costs can be devastating: $8,000-$12,000 per month for nursing home care in many states. Medicaid planning, long-term care insurance, and asset protection strategies are all part of the conversation. Protecting Your Parents’ Legacy covers the bigger picture.

Get siblings on the same page

If you have brothers or sisters, make sure everyone knows what the plan is — and ideally, agrees with it. Nothing destroys families faster than one sibling making all the decisions without the others’ input. This doesn’t mean everyone gets a vote on every detail, but transparency prevents the conflicts that tear families apart after a parent passes. Having the family conversation isn’t just about talking to your parents — it’s about talking to each other.

A Note About Mental Capacity

This is the one thing that makes timing so critical. For any legal document to be valid, the person signing it must have mental capacity — they must understand what they’re signing and what it means. A person with early-stage dementia may still have capacity. A person in the late stages of Alzheimer’s almost certainly does not.

If your parent’s capacity is declining, every week matters. An attorney can help assess the situation and determine what’s still possible. In some cases, having a physician confirm capacity at the time of signing provides an extra layer of legal protection.

If your parent has already lost capacity and there are no existing documents, the options are more limited — and more expensive. The family may need to pursue a court-appointed guardianship (for personal/medical decisions) and conservatorship (for financial decisions). This requires an attorney and a court proceeding, and it’s exactly the situation that proactive planning prevents.

Don’t let this possibility paralyze you. If there’s still a window, use it. If the window has closed, an attorney can still help you navigate what comes next.

You’re Not Too Late

I want to say this one more time, because I know the guilt you’re feeling: you are not too late. Yes, it would have been easier to do this five years ago. But you’re doing it now. That matters. That’s what counts.

The families that struggle aren’t the ones who started late — they’re the ones who never started at all. You’re here. You’re reading. You’re about to take the first step. That puts your family in a fundamentally better position than the millions of families who never do.

Start with the three urgent items at the top of this page. Then find an attorney. Then work through the rest. One step at a time.

Your next step: Find an estate planning attorney in your parent’s state. Our state-specific guides include attorney fee ranges, probate rules, and everything else you’ll need for that first conversation.

I’m not an attorney, and nothing on this site is legal advice. If your family is facing an urgent health situation, please consult with an estate planning attorney in your parent’s state as soon as possible. The guidance here is based on my own experience helping my parents plan during a health scare — and everything I’ve learned since from families who’ve been through the same thing.